So here I am at 10 weeks and 3 days along (my ticker is a tad off). Don't mind the sweatpants, it's Sunday and the whole fam is just chillin. Rhianna, Jamison, AND Daddy are sleeping away! :-)
I still have a little morning sickness now and then but it's not bad. I am hungry a lot more than before though! Tomorrow I go in for a prenatal physical so maybe I will be able to hear the heartbeat! I hope so. I feel bad though because I am not as excited for this pregnancy as with the other ones. I watched a 3 yr old girl and her 2 month old brother last night for our friends (it was a date night for them). It was alright, the kids did fine but DH was stressing over work and school and of course Jamison was super jealous. I think I am more nervous than anything. I worry about DH handling 4 kids. I mean it's not ordinary circumstances....he has just come back from war and has PTSD and is trying to finish his Bachelors and trying to retire AND the new baby all in the next 8 months! Granted it's not easy for me either but I worry all the same.
I worry about the baby integrating in the family and the jealousy that will come. I know God had us get pregnant for a reason but sometimes I get so worried about everything that sometimes I wonder why He did this. all I keep saying though is I def want to get something done permanently so I don't get pregnant anymore.
Oh and then I feel horrid about even feeling this way. Of COURSE I love this baby and WILL love him/her regardless. I don't want my baby to ever think that they weren't wanted because they ARE. I just worry about the future and hope that everything falls into place.
And then my Christian mind takes over and logic says all I have to do is put my trust in Him and He will take care of everything. Argh but it's not easy
4 comments:
hey go back thru that post and count how many times you wrote worry or worried or nervous....
ok now every time you worrk you need to pray! find a verse memorize it and when you feel worry creepin recite it, sing it, scream it.. just don't worry.
you'll get excited about it... i don't think i was excited for any of the pregnancies i had. but then after they're born is all the excitement! but i can see why you're not excited i'm not preggers with you and we're not there for each other, LOL
i'm there in spirit and prayer..
ok hope my pep talk helped some.
You are an awesome mom and part of that makes you worry more than the average bear. This baby will be a blessing, you'll see. Like Allena said put it in God's hand and let Him take the rein!! Love ya!
PS You look sooooo skinny!!
Kelly, you are going to be great! Don't worry about anything, just give it to God. I know, I know, easier said than done. God has a plan for everything. I wish things were different and I was preggo with you. Then we'd know exactly what the other one was going through!! I love you and miss you! It'll be just fine!!!
Gee I wish I only looked as big as you, and I'm not even pregnant. After having two children and not being able to have anymore (due to medical reasons)I do wish I could have had one more sometimes. I do know people with 4 children close in age, and their last preganancies seem to take more out of them, but their children all fit in together and just think, all the children will be excited to have a new baby brother or sister to share with you and your husband.
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